brYdn

ISOLATION

brYdn

CCJ 10-6785 : 03/16/2010:hand printed in blue ink on notebook paper, 2x lines per space, notes n margin

03/17/2010 CCJ 10-6785 “isolation” rafael says at the CMA on the 28th i’ll be offered a plea guilty probably drop a charge and get out w/ parole. if i stay in until april 19, got to court, i can fight the charges, prove i’m INNOCENT or if i’m guilty then i get two years. so i’ll try calling Megan see what’s up with brady. dont eat yesterday. get some sleep yesterday and cant sleep last night cos of thinking about the CMA. i’m eating lunch today. just no appetite. rather be light headed. visualizing playing my guitar off the edge of my bed. i pull the blanket over my head and leave the door open. i dont care. must look really weird. i get the little click of guys in room 12 to cover for me. i leave the my tray of food and sit in there during meals so i dont piss off the deputy. it’s amazing how valuable your food is in here. i dont have any dreams last night. it means something. i’m remembering an affirmation a day. keep them on a list. read it all night. practice “forced smiling” when i have the blanket over my head. talk about looking weird. i have clinic today. finger looks healing. cant bend it. real puffed out. top layer of skin peels off. i’m running hot water over it to expand it and cold water to contract it. color’s coming back. change the band-aides 2x a day. may be outdoor recreation today. depends on the weather. i’ve got a 12 bar “symphony” in the works. i think of small interesting parts to add every now and then. it’s actually 144 bars long. i dont know if i can finish it w/o a guitar, piano or sheet music. maybe a multi-track but i can rough it out for now. i’m gonna see about sleeping the day away after clinic. sit up all night while it’s quiet. rafael shows me how to play the card game “casino.” he learned it in jail last time he was here in november. nobody up yet. just rick, tony and the new guy frank. everyone else eats and goes back to bed. it must be the cooking. i just want to get super light headed and practice guitar all day. deputies are in good spirits this morning. i may even take a dump. i found the book “pancho ville” in espanoel. i’m gonna take in the read n’ work on the language. my celly rafael talks all the time. he’s 23yo, misses his wife n’ 2x kids. makes lots of money doing labor, smokes oxycontin, has a girlfriend, not going in military cos of a felony, a lover not a fighter and a high-school GED is good enough. heh, where have i heard this before. i get to lay around alot today. it’s a lockdown day so the deputy can attend domestic violence seminar cos of the cop that shot his wife, her two frinds, then himself. one of those horses get out so let’s close the door. one of the new kid celly’s shawn newton sits across from me says i looked familiar. i remember him from me and mookie playing guitar at pioneer square. all he talks about is skateboard wrecks and oxycontin. he’s got $275 on his books if that counts for anything. he’s getting out in a couple days w/ a home monitoring system for a parole violation. get another celly tonight making the block full again. it’s supposed to be full down stairs. see big billy in the clinic. his back is doing great. he’s gonna finish 12 months in jail here and go off to prison for stolen vehicle and two guns, “allegedly.” spend time helping rafael focus on the positive future instead of dwelling on the mistakes in the past. mostly cos he wont keep quiet and leave me to write my song. seems like helping people w/ that’s why i’m here.

picture description: English: Cells in Alcatraz Island
Italiano: Celle ad Alcatraz
Date     08/12/2008
Source     Own work
Author     Superchilum

entry name: “isolation”
entry date: Monday, May 6, 2013 10:35 AM
entry description: journal while in jail

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LOCKDOWN

brydn

evening “pain” journal: 03/20/2010: afternoon journal entry

03/20/2010 ccj 2010006785 late afternoon “lockdown.” head spins.

JOURNAL: locked down all morning cos beau and the new guys kept playing bones once the lights went out. everyone’s been making cat, dog and wolf calls once we get locked in. deputy gets pissed and tells them they dont own the place. have a super painful finger yesterday. feels like a paper cut to the bone. red bump coming out of wound looks like a third eye w/ pus coming out of it. neighbor newton had 4 cellies in 4 days. then a new guy came in during late night lockdown. someone yells out, in a low growley voice, “fresh meat” for a creepy welcome. this morning we are locked down w/o razor. it’s a second day w/o razor. breakfast. lockdown. meds which is a mortin. lockdown. newton and i go to clinic. least amount of inmates ever for a total of three this morning. nurse collerhon really applies a mummy bandage so i dont mess with the healing process. lots of clear fluid coming out. a dab of ointment. once we are done it looks like a pistol. newton and i get back from teenage mutant turtles TV land right as lunch is ending. i ditch a p.j. hamburger for breakfast. lockdown. out door recreation. i stay in bed cos the motrin is wearing off. deputy comes in looking for fruit. guess i shocked him cos celly’s got a banana w/ his commissary on the table top which didnt get pitched. i’m reading “voyage long and strange” by tony horwitz. it’s about vikings and old usa history. dinner: beans/ tofu, corn, salad. ditch banana #2 and afternoon lockdown. yesterday, during afternoon activities, zack and nickleback man, johnathan and heroin dan have me sit in a game of rummy. it’s not long before i remember how to play it again. a new dude gets back from court. he gets really pissed at zack a nickleback cos they say something about dude stealing his girlfriends credit card. dude goes it’s not funny and tries to start a fight. zack handles it very calmly. nickleback man says it’s okay to vent buy no one wants more time. nickleback man gives me a pen made out of a small pen but has paper rolled around it and the little rubber thing on the end. makes it easy to hold and feels like a real pen. it took it apart DIYS and rebuild it so the pen part doesnt slip back in.

entry name: “lockdown”
entry date: May 8, 2013 10:59 AM
entry description: journal during jail for publication on tumblr for reverbnation blog RSS.

picture description:    
English: Near-amputated distal tip of left middle finger, view from bottom. Injured in an accident repairing bicycle brakes, severing a nerve and leaving the tip attached only by a flap of skin at the bottom. Patient is 18-year-old male. Taken at Boulder Community Hospital in Boulder, CO with an LG VX-5400 camera phone.
Date     15 March 2010, 21:04
Source     User:Buickid
Author     User:Buickid

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BASEBALL DIAMOND

brydn

clock card: 03/18/2010: blue ink on notebook paper 2x lines per space, halfway down first side

DREAM: i’m running around a baseball diamond. it’s a grassy field a cement recess square 3” foundation that’s overgrown w/ lawn. i get on my knees and look around it. i find a small tea kettle made of china w/ a rose printed around it. i walk back to home plate up 3rd base. there’s a large stage w/ a projector screen behind it. i’m on the stage looking out over the grassy field. a couple girls come over and show me the lower stage area that’s out front of the main stage and a little lower. we go down steps on stage left. when i start down the steps i notice the boards are loose. upon looking closer, a few of them are screwed down, most of the decking is laying there.

DREAM: i’m riding in a tractor trailer low bed hauling heavy equipment. the new celly neighbor, the black man, is driving. he gets a phone call on his cellphone. he goes “just a minute” and pulls over to the side of the freeway just before a toll bridge. i go inside a bus station and walk past a ticket counter. ther’s a few people standing around the island in the middle of the room. it’s gray and a little blue. i look for mookie. i see a couple other dogs, loose w/ their leash, playing around and under a bench seat. i know mookie’s around but she’s hiding and i cant see her.

entry name: i’m running around a baseball diamond
entry date: May 7, 2013 9:41 AM
entry description: 2nd and 3rd dreams from “ask house”

picture description:   
English: Baseball diamond covered in silt several inches deep after Hurricane Irene led to flooding of nearby Rondout Creek, Grahamsville, NY, USA
Date     31 August 2011
Source     Own work
Author     Daniel Case).

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© 2013 Nathan Brydn. Made in USA. All rights reserved worldwide.

GREEN BUILDING

brydn

clock card: 03/19/2010: third dream from entry

DREAM: green building on hwy 212. converted old restaurant into 8 door garage. dad’s backed up his pickup to the east stall and he’s working around it. all the bays have their door rolled up. gary shows up. there’s a large tent heaped up in the field. dad’s truck;s gone. there’s a black and white tv on a file cabnit in the east bay. there’s a primer gray ‘32 ford body on a pile of old cars. gary goes “what’s that dude?” he’s smiling and holding a box of pizza and things like writing. i go to the van to get a bottle. i go “you want a shot of vodka?” he says yeah. we go back to my van. he sits in the driver seat to do shots. i’m thinking we should hide cos it seems like someone’s around and watching.

entry name: “green building”
entry date: May 7, 2013 12:36 AM
entry description: journal entry

picture description:    
English: The “Green Building”. RMIT. Swanston Street, Melbourne.
Date     2006-10-09 (original upload date)
Source     Transferred from en.wikipedia
Author     Original uploader was Biatch at en.wikipedia
Permission
(Reusing this file)     

Released into the public domain

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THANKSGIVING

brYdn
051213a0608 
45 32.3’ N, 122 39.3’ W

04/02/2010

thanksgiving

large house

kitchen n’ dinning room next room

stove, cooking boiling pots pans

to do list

uncle joe

everyone sitting in dinning room

someone’s bitching

change to do list

burn turkey

wreck potatoes

sheryl comes in slaps me

lift up her leg

<wake up kicking>

document name: 4/2/201 thanksgiving document date:4/2/2010 document description: black ink hand printed on recycled brown notepad paper, 2x lines per space

entry description:dream from journal

picture description:
English: Photo showing some of the aspects of a traditional US Thanksgiving day dinner.
Date     November 2002
Source     Own work
Author     Ben Franske

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EVENING “PAIN” JOURNAL

brydn

03/19/2010 ccj 2010006785: jail journal, top of page, short entry

03/19/2010 ccj 2010006785 evening “pain” journal. doing good. filled out visitor update info for andy and filed kyte to get my glasses. celly did get his commissary. loaded down w/ $20 worth of junk food.

(IDEA) manufacture not another laptop but portable PC; i.e., ergonomic keyboard, detachable flat screen, interchangeable parts. motherboard fits in laptop pouch.

(IDEA) 3-D rooms. design and paint rooms the audience walks or travels through w/ 3-D glasses. can project images like a green screen. looks like tables coming out from wall but it’s flat. halloween/ seasonal themes.

(IDEA) brief case size. batteries/ solar. indestructable case. drop it.

entry name: evening pain journal
entry date: May 8, 2013 10:15 AM
entry description: jail journal

picture description:
English: Animation of a NURBS surface. Modeled and rendered in Cobalt.
Date    
Source     Own work
Author     Greg A L

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DINNER HOUR

brYdn

03/16/2010 cch 10-6785 … there’s a pickup on the road
document date: 03/15/2010
hand printed in blue ink on notebook paper, 2x line per space, Nathan Brydn, inmate, CCJ, 2010, i’m the prettiest, trade food for pens n’ paper

03/15/2010 ccj 10-6785 dinner hour. nope no appetite. give it to nickleback man. no matt. must be with his attorney.

AM DREAM:

mom’s in the front room at grandma’s. she’s standing by the front window conversing w/ me. all of a sudden i hear a car w/ a loud motor out front of the house. there’s a beat up hatch back, black. no muffler driving past the front. the passanger is leaning out the window shooting a handgun at the car in front of it, red. i go mom get down they’re shooting out front. she’s completely frozen in the middle of her sentence. the house is made of cement blocks.

DREAM: i’m w/ jeff at an apartment. he brings out a roach n’ forceps. he lights up the roach, takes a hit off it, pulls a piece of ash off his tongue n’ lips w/ his finger. he goes he can taste the chemicals in it n’ hands it to me. i get a towel n’ go down the hall to take a shower. i take a shower in the shower room n’ realize i didnt bring my white towel i find a brown towel on the dryer in the laundry room. i towel off a little n’ fold it back up. i put the towel back where i got it. ###

JOURNAL: just sleeping. dont know where matt went so i can keep the door locked. i’m by myself here. cant understand the people around me. dont wanna piss anyone off. just dont want “friends.” take it ofr leave it. (MUSIC IDEA) write 144 bar long hair piece based on the 12 bar progression.

JOURNAL: oppi got rolled up just right after i wrote my moms phone number on his papers. told him to call her n’ let her know i spent ten days with him. new celly raphael. in here for seeing his girl after agreeing not to w/ the courts. 21yo gets 10days. uh, i’m probably seeming pretty creepy at this point (MUSIC IDEA) start several bands on reverbnation w/ me as the main singer. fire up myspace, facebook … and yahoo accounts. combine them on RN lable (IDEA) photoshop my pictre on dead saras jpg for lp cover same w/ that other band. pull w/ cease n’ desist or change it around enough to “borrow.”

picture description:
Scene of the Gift of Dirt mentioned in Ashokavadana: In his previous birth as a young boy named Jaya, the Mauryan emperor Ashoka gifts Gautama Buddha a bowl of dirt, dreaming that the dirt is food. Gandhara, 2nd century CE. Musee Guimet (Paris), personal photograph 2006.

entry name: dinner hour
entry date: Monday, May 6, 2013 12:12 AM
entry description:jail journal

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© 2013 Nathan Brydn. MADE IN USA. All rights reserved worldwide.

BASEMENT GARAGE

brydn

clock card: 03/19/2010: 2nd dream of the day

DREAM: i’m in a basement garage. the hallway leads to a basement apartment and a flight of stairs that leads upstairs. there’s a lady seated at the doorway leading to the apartment. the door is slightly open. she’s sitting on a small bench and just got out of the shower. i walk up the stairs w/ everett to give grandma a ride on a lowboy. grandma desides to drive the big rig. everett, mookie and i ride on the trailer. we pull up to 82nd and powell going south. i think there’s a man w/ a gurny in the crosswalk that turns out to be a road worker w/ a cart and a couple road signs on it. there’s another lowboy that pulls up beside us. there’s a passenger on the trailer, but he’s strapped down w/ ratchet straps. everett climbs into the center of the trailer where there’s a flat metal space w/ edges up to the from slipping off. mookie and i are toward the front of the trailer on the passenger side. i’m laying on my back, head forward, w/ my head hanging off this edge. it’s dark and rainy.

entry name: “basement garage”
entry date: May 7, 2013 12:23 AM
entry description: journal

picture description: Truck Art Pakistan, In Pakistan the truck driver usually pays $3,000 to $5,0002 for its external decoration .This decor includes structural changes of truck , paintings , calligraphy , ornamental decor and many others.Mirror work on the front and back of truck and wooden cravings on wooden doors of the trucks are frequently used .Usually the driver takes the truck to coachworkshop soon after its purchase for its decor.The artsmen embellish the truck according to the taste of driver.
Date     1 October 2008, 00:00
Source     Truck Art
Author     amir taj

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ASK HOUSE

brydn

clock card:03/18/2010:blue ink on notebook paper, 2x lines per space, completely written out from top space to bottom, continued on backpage

(IDEA) clock card. a card fits in an envelope you can mail that tells time my have battery. maybe chemical clock or sand glass; solar power. idea being i cant tell what time it is. maybe soak paper in orange peel or soap or something that common. mails out like singing card but not integrated.

03/18/2010 ccj 10-6785 “ask house” razor, laundry, chow. then lunch and maybe a visitor. get up an hour early this morning. about the best for quiet time. R-block is full again. st. patrick day means lots of drunks. newton celly rolled up yesterday and netwon got a new celly this morning, a black guy. a real black guy not like earl. when the other ask what happened he goes, “that’s none of your business.” slick. i gotta work on that. charting up a ruff 12 bar work. get a good idea now and then.

DREAM: i’m at marty’s appartment. it’s a nice place but cluttered with too much stuff. we’re playing a card game and using chocolet for betting chips. he says to look around for some cos his wife just bought some and brought them home. i find chocolate hearts like from valentines day which are about 4 inches across. he tells me them are the wrong ones. i find a pack of individually wrapped chocolate pieces which are about an inch across. i eat one. we use these for the chips.

entry name: “ask house”
entry date: Tuesday, May 7, 2013 9:21 AM
entry description: journal from 2nd week in jail, dreams, ideas

picture description:

Krewe du Vieux Carre float and artwork under construction in den (warehouse), New Orleans. This was the first New Orleans Mardi Gras parade after Hurricane Katrina, satirizing local conditions.

Visible here are float with image of Mr. Bill and an incomplete effigy of mayor Ray Nagin holding a valentine box of chocolate.

Photo by Infrogmation

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PAIN

brydn

clock card: 03/19/2010: 2nd journal entry on 1st page, hand printed in blue ink on notebook paper 2x line per space

03/19/2010 ccj #0088268 afternoon “pain” journal: having a happy thought day, no negative thoughts. that was yesterday and next sunday. yesterday Sargent guzman called me into her office. she told me they’re getting rid of the special meals unless it’s medical, i.e., vegan. didnt really work for me. i’m still going to the front of the line until everyone finds out. i guess she meant next week cos my peanut butter sandwich was moldy so i gave it esidero. dont know what he did with it. sleeping away as much as i can <right now ralph, mark and newton are playing casino on my bed> went to clinic this morning. nurse cathy irrigated my finger again <i.e., pull apart the wound, squeeze the goo out of it, bandage it up again> i believe she was expressing concerns regarding it’s healing process. maybe going to prescribe antibiotics again. fact is it requires a doctor. the wound has lots of scare tissue. super painful; 7-8 on a scale of 10. the motrins really help. about pass out w/o one of the 3x a day. i must be typing in my sleep cos i wake up bloody. sleep away the day. ralph’s alot more quiet during lockdown. says he’s concerned cos i’m rolling around in pain. brings out the jerk in me. probably doesnt wanna hear me give advice for life. donny rolled up this morning. first time out from time around 18yrs old. he says he’s gonna get a haircut and a big old breakfast. he’s got a canoe. got to see him out to the door. i’ve been visualizing that to happen. “brydn roll up.” working on 12 bar piece. i got the middle section to look and sound like a crunched up beer can. looking at a couple …

entry name: “pain”
entry date: May 7, 2013 9:59 AM
entry description: journal to end of front page

picture description:

Date
Source Own workAuthor

• Tongue owner: Louparry
• Photographer: Johnleach
• Piercer: Luke at Physical Poetry, Leeds, UK

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© 2013 Nathan Brydn. Made in USA. All rights reserved worldwide.